I blinked. I shouldn't have, but as I've never been good at staring contests, it was inevitable. So it happened. My eyes closed for one last time in the land of smiles, and when I opened them I had no idea where I was, but I knew it wasn't home.
I've waited a long time to write to you, my Fabulous Five. I've been home for about a month now, but I just haven't quite been able to process it yet. I still wake up some mornings and wonder where I am. I still have mini anxiety attacks at random times while driving, panicking that I'm on the wrong side of the road. I still accidentally speak in the tone that is specially reserved for my sweet Thai babies, forgetting that people here can comprehend my English. I still have so many stories to tell, but I realize that I could never convey the memories as perfectly as they deserve to be told.
At the very mention of my Thai babies, I am taken back to my final moments with them. I'm not a crier, but I can't help but be brought to tears by the thought of our last week together. I didn't want to tell them I was leaving until the last possible moment because I knew I couldn't keep my composure. The same went for our family and friends in our community. We made it a point to continue on as normal until it was unavoidable. We went out to eat and danced and laughed and celebrated our togetherness, but were careful not to mention what was to come.
I stole every last possible moment I could. I was that crazy lady who holds on too long during a hug. I held their little faces in my hands while telling them how much I love them. I braided hair until I thought my fingers would fall off. I rocked them in my arms while singing old jazz songs. I rode my bicycle around school with four kiddos on the back and one in the basket. They were so confused when each of these silly little bits brought tears to my eyes. They could never comprehend the magnitude of my love for them or my sadness for leaving.
The morning of our departure, I rode my bicycle to school like always, but for the last time. I actively practiced meditation so as not to burst into tears at the thought of the coming moments. Never having a gift for meditation, I erupted almost immediately at first sight of the school. My favorite M1 students met me at the gate to give me a little teddy bear and handwritten note (both of which never leave my side) before I made my way up to the front of the morning assembly to say my official goodbye. None of my words were even the slightest bit recognizable (nor would they have been to even the most avid of English speakers) because of the onslaught of tears and emotion that overcame me. It was embarrassing for me to show so much emotion in public, but at the same time, I wanted them to understand just how much they had affected me, my life, my very purpose of living. I all but ran away from the scene, wanting to get out of there before just deciding to set up camp and stay forever, right there in the middle of that sweet little school with all my kiddos surrounding me. But I walked away because I had a bus to catch. I hugged my fellow teachers and continued on.
Then, I heard the little voices of "Teacha Cowsee!" behind me, and I turned around to the most beautiful scene of my life: all my babies running towards me. It was like something out of a movie. I cried a river as I hugged the necks of each and every one of those angels while they begged me to stay. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was to keep walking. We waved to each other until we vanished from sight, a scene that I carry in my mind every moment.
I got back to our place to load up the past year of our lives into Off's tiny little car. We crammed in with absolutely no room left and headed for the bus station, and got a few important last lessons in Thai on the way. As we were unloading his car, I looked up to see my five favorite fellow teachers coming to greet me one last time. "It was not enough," they said, in regards to our earlier goodbyes. We got our final tear filled hugs in before beginning our long journey home.
The next few days that followed are simply a blur in my mind now. I remember feeling every possible emotion to the highest degree. Flights were full, bags were heavy, stress was off the charts. Our journey took us to Singapore, which ended up being a blessing because it gave us the day to explore yet another beautiful new country. However, never have I been so miserably ready to be home. At certain points, I thought the moment would never come. It was so sweet when it finally did.
I can't tell you how it felt to step foot in America. I can't even tell you how it feels to be here now. After a month, I still have yet to process it. I think it's a part of my brain that I have blocked off to deal with at another time. I so often get asked "How was Thailand?" or "How does it feel to be back?" and my automated response is "I'm so sad to have left, but so happy to be home." However, if I can tell you the truth, I don't think I'm home yet.
I can now be found in north Alabama (more specifically at a perfect little coffee shop I've already sought out for paper grading and my last blog entry to you tonight). I've just taken a job at a middle school for the next 6 weeks (remainder of the school year) teaching English and journalism to 8th graders with whom I've already fallen in love after my two short days of being here. You'd be hard pressed to find nicer, more welcoming folks anywhere. It was a quick decision to take the job and move here, but it was undoubtedly the right one. It's weird to be in this place alone. Even in Thailand, I had Meredith by my side every step of the way. But I think these next six weeks are meant for me.
Some people have asked me why I didn't stay in Thailand since I loved it so much. The truth is I could've stayed forever, and that was the problem. I want to be scared. I want to keep pushing the boundaries. I want to keep discovering, learning, playing, changing, LOVING! And it's not to say that there wasn't more of that to be done in Thailand, but I have to keep moving. I've got so much more ground to cover.
Sometimes cliffs present themselves, and looking over to see what's beyond can be the most intimidating thing of all especially if the landing isn't within sight. Somehow, even though we know such a leap will land us safely into our next climb, a journey we welcome, it's still hard to let go. There's something really special about taking a risk and moving on though. My favorite moments are the ones after I've taken the risk. Secret little reasons of why I was supposed to take it revealed to me in their own time--minutes, days, months, years after I've jumped. It's the most exquisite thing in life, I think.
This is my farewell post to the most FABULOUS of Fives. I couldn't have asked for a better journey, and I'm beyond lucky to have gotten to share it with all of you--whomever you may be. I have no idea where my next adventure will take me, but I promise it won't be boring. I look forward to sharing more stories with you again someday, if you'll have me. Until next time, lovelies!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
barrel of monkeys
The past weekend was one for the books. Due to our dwindling number of weekends left, we've tried to make them as eventful as possible, and this one did not disappoint. Luckily, we had three days off thanks to a Buddhist holiday, so we used 24 hours for adventure and the next 48 to recover.
Thailand has done wonders for my sleep schedule. In the past, I've always jam packed my schedule leaving just a few hours for sleep each night. Going to bed at 1am due to practice or homework of some sort, and then waking up at 4am to get ready to open Java Jolt--what I can remember from my sleep deprived haze of those years was fantastic! But living the simple life here has been enormously beneficial. Like I told you in my earlier posts, I've fallen into a bit of a routine (at least with my bedtime schedule). In bed by 10:30pm at the latest, wake up at 7am at the earliest. Of course there are nights we designate to dancing and night life (especially on our vacations!), but for the majority of our time here, I've stayed on schedule. A couple of the other farang teachers here and I have had this discussion a few times--we aren't mad about settling into our elderly ways! Ok, but on to the story...
We decided that Lop Buri would be our destination of choice for the weekend. However, after some research, we discovered that there was only really one attraction: the monkey-infested temple. This was enough to motivate me to ride the next 6 hour bus journey, but I hesitated because there were no good places to spend the night there. I always keep the phrase "go big or go home" in my mind, so we decided to apply it to our Saturday journey. We'd just get on the bus, drive 6 hours, explore the monkey temple for a while, and then meander back to Uttaradit on the night bus...which is precisely what we'd have done had we actually caught it. More on that later.
I won't give details on the bus ride there. But I will tell you this: there are some bus rides (and drivers) with which (whom) no amount of Dramamine can compete. No matter the country, I always find myself asking why I have to seek out the ones that make me all but reenact the dress shopping scene from the movie Bridesmaids. God help that bus had I not taken the motion sickness medicine. I have to practice meditation and constant concentration and composure in order to not share my lunch menu with the other riders. Should I continue? Did you...I can...no? You grasp the situation with which we're dealing? Ok great. Just let me know. I can come back to it.
After our arrival (around 3pm), I stumbled off the bus and took a few minutes to compose myself as Meredith checked about departure times. She came to discover that the only bus back to our home sweet home was at 10pm. I made peace with the fact that I wouldn't make it back before my 10:30 bed time (we're more lenient on weekends anyway--sometimes we're crazy enough to stay awake until...wait for it...11pm if you can believe it!), and we planned to return to the bus station before then to be there when our ride showed up, as we couldn't buy tickets in advance. We exited the station to look for a taxi, and were herded by a fragile looking older gentleman (who couldn't have been in his right mind) towards his one person bike-buggy. Held together by rubber bands, this little "carriage that could" had an unintentional sun roof due to what looked like centuries of wear and tear on the canvas roof. I asked repeatedly, "Are you sure?" while pointing to the size of our derrieres combined. Thankfully, he wasn't deterred, and the monkey temple was only a few kilometers away.
We made it to our destination, and a handsome young gentleman of no older than 8 years was waiting to greet us. "Bodyguard!" he offered repeatedly. We hired him and his bamboo stick, not knowing that we'd actually need them both. We pulled out a bag of cereal to show him what we'd brought to feed the monkeys, and he proceeded to chow down himself while waving his bamboo to traffic as we crossed the road to the temple. We hadn't even approached the gate before the monkeys swarmed around us, interested in nothing but food. Far from shy, they didn't hesitate for one second to jump on our legs, back, shoulders, or head, sometimes several at a time. It took a little getting used to (and by that I mean several panic attacks were had). We finally made our way into the temple, exploring the ancient ruins while watching several groups of monkeys picking bugs out of others' fur and whatnot. I had finally gotten used to the little jokers and started welcoming them onto my shoulder until one of them got too comfortable. Deciding that the cereal wasn't good enough, he went for my bling and stole one of my earrings right out of my dadgum ear. After pillaging through my backpack and any other belongings he could get his little fingers on, we decided to empty what was left of the cereal (which was not much due to "bodyguard") and move along.
We went to find lunch, and along the way found monkeys crawling all over the rest of the town (almost creepily). Since we didn't know the town very well and had trouble finding a decent place to eat, when we saw KFC, we settled for it. It just so happened that two kind-hearted Belgian gentleman (both professional orchestra musicians, and now also in law school) had the same plan, so they joined us for the meal. We exchanged travel stories, admired their French accent, and decided to make a day of it. We left the navigating to Bernard and Adrian, who led us to the wat ruins. We stopped there for a while to just enjoy the sunset and conversation. Surrounded by ancient pillars and the most intriguing company, we watched the moon take the sun's place.
The gentlemen bid us goodbye, and they departed on their train back to Bangkok. Little did we know the two of us would be back several hours later. The bike-buggy was nowhere in sight, so we decided to be frugal and walk despite our less than journey-appropriate shoes. We explored some of the night markets around the bus station in attempt to pass the time before our night bus arrived, but to no avail. We still ended up having nearly a couple of hours of bench-sitting at the station. We hadn't found a bathroom all day long, so it was imperative that we did so before our bus ride home. We ran to the 7-Eleven to beg for use of their loo, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm guessing that's when Thailand's first EVER bus to arrive early made its appearance. Yes. We missed it. We missed our one chance of getting home in even the slightest of comfortable ways. One more bus came afterwards, and they turned us down, not even letting us sit in the floor. At the height of our frustration, our guardian angel in the form of a sweet 18 year old boy named Nye approached us and asked, "Where you go?" Relieved to hear English, we quickly explained our problem. He made a quick call and discovered our option to get home was by train. We thanked him, but he insisted on giving us a ride. You'll think us crazy to have accepted such an offer, but we trusted our instincts. He and his father drove us (in style, I might add--he drove a 2013 BMW with flat screens in the back of the headrests) back to the train station where we'd left our Belgian gentleman friends earlier and bought us a ticket. By a stroke of luck, the train was pulling up just as we were handed our tickets. I had enough time to pull Nye into a giant hug of gratitude and be on my merry way.
The next 6 hours were filled with the most interesting of seat partners. Thankfully, there were a couple of gentlemen who offered their seats up to us. We graciously accepted, and then found the price to be their staring at us for the remainder of the ride. 47 stops, nostrils full of pollution (due to rickety old open windows) and many cases of whiplash later, we arrived in our sweet Uttaradit in the wee small hours of the morning, and proceeded to sleep for the next 12 hours. This threw us terribly off of our elderly sleep schedule. Wooooooorth it.
I just wanted to share this with you, Fab Five, because I realized I usually share the big picture rather than the little adventures in between. And the little adventures always seem to make for the best memories. Excuse me while I go make as many more as possible before I leave (and also leave time to mourn over my stolen earring--it was such a good one!). I don't have much time left here, and I can't even go into detail about it now because I will surely break down in tears. For now, I'm going to do my best to try not to blink...
Thailand has done wonders for my sleep schedule. In the past, I've always jam packed my schedule leaving just a few hours for sleep each night. Going to bed at 1am due to practice or homework of some sort, and then waking up at 4am to get ready to open Java Jolt--what I can remember from my sleep deprived haze of those years was fantastic! But living the simple life here has been enormously beneficial. Like I told you in my earlier posts, I've fallen into a bit of a routine (at least with my bedtime schedule). In bed by 10:30pm at the latest, wake up at 7am at the earliest. Of course there are nights we designate to dancing and night life (especially on our vacations!), but for the majority of our time here, I've stayed on schedule. A couple of the other farang teachers here and I have had this discussion a few times--we aren't mad about settling into our elderly ways! Ok, but on to the story...
We decided that Lop Buri would be our destination of choice for the weekend. However, after some research, we discovered that there was only really one attraction: the monkey-infested temple. This was enough to motivate me to ride the next 6 hour bus journey, but I hesitated because there were no good places to spend the night there. I always keep the phrase "go big or go home" in my mind, so we decided to apply it to our Saturday journey. We'd just get on the bus, drive 6 hours, explore the monkey temple for a while, and then meander back to Uttaradit on the night bus...which is precisely what we'd have done had we actually caught it. More on that later.
I won't give details on the bus ride there. But I will tell you this: there are some bus rides (and drivers) with which (whom) no amount of Dramamine can compete. No matter the country, I always find myself asking why I have to seek out the ones that make me all but reenact the dress shopping scene from the movie Bridesmaids. God help that bus had I not taken the motion sickness medicine. I have to practice meditation and constant concentration and composure in order to not share my lunch menu with the other riders. Should I continue? Did you...I can...no? You grasp the situation with which we're dealing? Ok great. Just let me know. I can come back to it.
After our arrival (around 3pm), I stumbled off the bus and took a few minutes to compose myself as Meredith checked about departure times. She came to discover that the only bus back to our home sweet home was at 10pm. I made peace with the fact that I wouldn't make it back before my 10:30 bed time (we're more lenient on weekends anyway--sometimes we're crazy enough to stay awake until...wait for it...11pm if you can believe it!), and we planned to return to the bus station before then to be there when our ride showed up, as we couldn't buy tickets in advance. We exited the station to look for a taxi, and were herded by a fragile looking older gentleman (who couldn't have been in his right mind) towards his one person bike-buggy. Held together by rubber bands, this little "carriage that could" had an unintentional sun roof due to what looked like centuries of wear and tear on the canvas roof. I asked repeatedly, "Are you sure?" while pointing to the size of our derrieres combined. Thankfully, he wasn't deterred, and the monkey temple was only a few kilometers away.
We made it to our destination, and a handsome young gentleman of no older than 8 years was waiting to greet us. "Bodyguard!" he offered repeatedly. We hired him and his bamboo stick, not knowing that we'd actually need them both. We pulled out a bag of cereal to show him what we'd brought to feed the monkeys, and he proceeded to chow down himself while waving his bamboo to traffic as we crossed the road to the temple. We hadn't even approached the gate before the monkeys swarmed around us, interested in nothing but food. Far from shy, they didn't hesitate for one second to jump on our legs, back, shoulders, or head, sometimes several at a time. It took a little getting used to (and by that I mean several panic attacks were had). We finally made our way into the temple, exploring the ancient ruins while watching several groups of monkeys picking bugs out of others' fur and whatnot. I had finally gotten used to the little jokers and started welcoming them onto my shoulder until one of them got too comfortable. Deciding that the cereal wasn't good enough, he went for my bling and stole one of my earrings right out of my dadgum ear. After pillaging through my backpack and any other belongings he could get his little fingers on, we decided to empty what was left of the cereal (which was not much due to "bodyguard") and move along.
The Monkey Temple
Already feeling the monkey love before even entering the temple gates!
No interest in me whatsoever. Food is the priority. I can't say I don't understand...
Bodyguard going to town on our cereal
This is a terrible yet hilarious picture of me with 4 monkeys chillin' on my back, and one doing a backflip off of me. I couldn't resist sharing it with you.
"Show me the goods and we'll talk..."
We went to find lunch, and along the way found monkeys crawling all over the rest of the town (almost creepily). Since we didn't know the town very well and had trouble finding a decent place to eat, when we saw KFC, we settled for it. It just so happened that two kind-hearted Belgian gentleman (both professional orchestra musicians, and now also in law school) had the same plan, so they joined us for the meal. We exchanged travel stories, admired their French accent, and decided to make a day of it. We left the navigating to Bernard and Adrian, who led us to the wat ruins. We stopped there for a while to just enjoy the sunset and conversation. Surrounded by ancient pillars and the most intriguing company, we watched the moon take the sun's place.
The gentlemen bid us goodbye, and they departed on their train back to Bangkok. Little did we know the two of us would be back several hours later. The bike-buggy was nowhere in sight, so we decided to be frugal and walk despite our less than journey-appropriate shoes. We explored some of the night markets around the bus station in attempt to pass the time before our night bus arrived, but to no avail. We still ended up having nearly a couple of hours of bench-sitting at the station. We hadn't found a bathroom all day long, so it was imperative that we did so before our bus ride home. We ran to the 7-Eleven to beg for use of their loo, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm guessing that's when Thailand's first EVER bus to arrive early made its appearance. Yes. We missed it. We missed our one chance of getting home in even the slightest of comfortable ways. One more bus came afterwards, and they turned us down, not even letting us sit in the floor. At the height of our frustration, our guardian angel in the form of a sweet 18 year old boy named Nye approached us and asked, "Where you go?" Relieved to hear English, we quickly explained our problem. He made a quick call and discovered our option to get home was by train. We thanked him, but he insisted on giving us a ride. You'll think us crazy to have accepted such an offer, but we trusted our instincts. He and his father drove us (in style, I might add--he drove a 2013 BMW with flat screens in the back of the headrests) back to the train station where we'd left our Belgian gentleman friends earlier and bought us a ticket. By a stroke of luck, the train was pulling up just as we were handed our tickets. I had enough time to pull Nye into a giant hug of gratitude and be on my merry way.
The next 6 hours were filled with the most interesting of seat partners. Thankfully, there were a couple of gentlemen who offered their seats up to us. We graciously accepted, and then found the price to be their staring at us for the remainder of the ride. 47 stops, nostrils full of pollution (due to rickety old open windows) and many cases of whiplash later, we arrived in our sweet Uttaradit in the wee small hours of the morning, and proceeded to sleep for the next 12 hours. This threw us terribly off of our elderly sleep schedule. Wooooooorth it.
I just wanted to share this with you, Fab Five, because I realized I usually share the big picture rather than the little adventures in between. And the little adventures always seem to make for the best memories. Excuse me while I go make as many more as possible before I leave (and also leave time to mourn over my stolen earring--it was such a good one!). I don't have much time left here, and I can't even go into detail about it now because I will surely break down in tears. For now, I'm going to do my best to try not to blink...
Monday, January 21, 2013
all the little details
I've taken so many pictures here, and though they're worth a thousand words, I still don't think it'd be enough to truly convey life in this world away from home. People watching is one of my absolute favorite activities (the hours and days of layovers in airports my whole life have been well spent), and being able to observe this new culture for a year has been one of the greatest highlights of my life. It's like the epitome of people watching. But beyond just watching, I've done my best to try some Thai shoes on for size and walk in them a while. Experiencing has been a far better treat than observing. I've collected several little details for you (as they come to me) that I think you'll find interesting. Excuse the disorganization that is my brain.
it's perfectly normal to see 4 people on one motorbike.
it's also perfectly normal for 2 of those people to be under the age of 4 months old.
it's also perfectly normal for the driver to be under 13 years old.
it's also perfectly normal for dogs to be balancing on the motorbike as well.
look, just go ahead and picture a circus act on two wheels. that's perfectly normal.
health codes? what are those? if you come to this country expecting cleanliness and health ratings posted on the walls of each establishment (if you're posh enough to be eating in a restaurant with walls), you won't eat.
dogs are everywhere. some are nice, some will attack you, all are dirty. (i have the scars to prove the aggressive ones)
it's impolite to cross your legs (and as i type this, i'm reminded to uncross my legs--still haven't been able to commit that rule to memory).
i never know what's going on. there's never a point in the day that i'm absolutely sure that what i'm doing is what i'm supposed to be doing, or where i am is where i'm supposed to be, or if i'm being "rip roi"--polite.
however, this doesn't seem to be an issue because i don't think i'm the only one. people live a go-with-the-flow lifestyle here. "mai pen rai" was the first phrase i learned, and it means "no worries." that sums it all up completely.
nothing is private. people come knock on our door all the time with no warning. one morning, a teacher friend needed her daughter's medical school research paper proofread. this was at 7am. in another instance, we were taking an afternoon snooze when our friend knocked on our door. "were you sleeping?" he asked. "well, yes," we answered. "well, wake up! we're going to find some fun," he replied. (i'm glad we woke up. it was a beautiful day)
shoes are expected to be taken off before entry to any and all shops. feet are considered to be the lowliest body part.
i've never fully witnessed respect until seeing the way Thai people respect their King. these people love their King and their country. every day, the national anthem is played at 8am and 6pm. during those times, people stand up and have a moment of silence. the King's song is played before each movie shown in theaters. i've only been to a couple of movies, and i've cried both times because it's that touching.
at markets, or really anywhere, there are boiling vats of oil (they deep fry EVERYTHING here) barely balanced on an open flame or gas tank. every time i pass them, my anxiety skyrockets, as i'm sure i'll bump one and have it burn straight through to my bones.
they're not too keen on public displays of affection between couples. no hand holding, and definitely no kissing. however, between friends or family, it's always shown. i've never crossed the street with a Thai without my hand being held.
people decorate like crazy. for what? the hundreds of festivals always going on to celebrate one thing or another. they do it up big (and then take it down surprisingly fast, i assume to start decorating for the next celebration). however, once you've seen one, you've seen them all. the same vendors attend each festival and sell the same things they always do...but the people never tire of it!
"delicious" snack food here (according to Thais) consists of sheets of dried fish, dried seaweed, milk flavored tablet candy, dried (or sometimes not) fermented thin sheets of rice paste (tastes much like shower curtain--not that i've ever snacked on one before), any thing in jelly form, foreign objects wrapped in banana leaves, shredded pork (think of cotton candy consistency, though), octopus on a stick, and a wide variety of bugs ranging in size, taste, and crunchiness. i'm not ashamed to say i've tried everything i've just mentioned (most of it for the first and last time). hey, YOL(in Thailand)O, right?!
also, as mentioned before, they love a good deep fried dish. let's take fish, for instance. while most of us would filet it real nice like, Thais don't waste time. they stick the whole dad gum thing down in the frier. eyeballs, fins, bones, and all. don't like fish? we can do you up a nice chicken. why yes, the beak is included!
they love the slapstick comedy. all of their shows come with sound effects of the "BOIOIOIOING!" "WHOOOOP!" and the sad, but always popular "whah-whah-whah" varieties.
ice cream comes in a piece of bread instead of a cone. you can add a number of toppings, such as sticky rice (my favorite), pumpkin, black beans, corn, or different flavors of jelled things.
beverages are served in little plastic bags.
straws come with everything.
students have class ALL day. after school, they have extra lessons. on the weekends, they have extra lessons. they are always always always in school. in addition, everyone wears uniforms. even the college students.
dogs wander into classrooms. mai pen rai.
all buildings are open air. this is because of rainy season when it rains at least once a day.
hot dogs are sold everywhere. all kinds, all shapes, all sizes. off the side of a motorbike, off the side of a bicycle, in shops, or anywhere else you can manage to sell them.
if you can read Thai, then you will be golden. if not, you will rely on pictures. when shopping for doctors (there's a whole street full of doctors offices--picture an open garage with a doctor in it), we go by pictures or customers. after passing by an office full of children, expectant mothers, and one with toothpaste, we finally found our general practitioner.
no issue is taboo. i hear "what the f$*#" from my elementary school kids (although they have no idea what they're saying), i get "shot" by little boys playing with their invisible guns, and students of all ages tell me i don't have a boyfriend because i'm fat.
your personal information is not your personal information. it is everyone's information. how much you have in your bank account, how much you spent on your motorbike, how much your raise was (if only people had a reason to ask me this!), how much you weigh, where you're going, how old you are, or any other personal question (i imagine they'd be much more in depth to me if people spoke more English) never divulged in America.
if you know basic greetings in English, i imagine you could be offered a job anywhere in the more rural areas of the country.
being an air hostess (flight attendant) is the most glamorous job in the world.
people here eat all the livelong day. they have meals, but they have snacks that come before meals, and meals that come after regular meals and snacks that come after that. and then they have dessert and coffee drinks. how they all weigh less than 100 pounds is beyond me. in fact, a greeting equivalent to "how are you?" is "have you eaten?" i get asked this most.
they dance all on, around, and betwixt the gender lines leaving us unsure of how to address most anyone.
karaoke is HUGE. and you don't have to be good at it. there are actually karaoke buses that thump their way down the road if you're up for a more entertaining 8 hour ride to Bangkok.
you can't buy moisturizer here without a "whitening" agent in it. as much as Americans long to be tan and sun kissed, Thais long to be pale. they go to any lengths to prevent the sun from touching their skin. a fellow teacher and i ran an errand, and before we hopped on her motorbike, she put on a sweater, jacket, and gloves before topping the ensemble off with her helmet. all in 95 degree weather, mind you. i asked her if she was cold, and she replied "i don't want the sun to hurt me!"
people take naps anywhere, anytime.
it's ok not to match. at all.
picture taking is a constant. everywhere we go, everywhere we do, it's documented in pictures. never in my life have i posed with so many people for so many different combinations of pictures. the worst is at yoga classes--i'm far from my loveliest in the most unflattering positions imaginable, and there next to me is someone playing photographer. i'm delighted to smile for the camera 99% of the time. yoga is not included in that percentage.
as mentioned before, people are always eating. but they are also always offering. this shows a fraction of their loving spirits. if they're eating and i'm not, they invite me to sit down and share their meal whether they know me or not. it's so beautiful to me.
people are always staring at me. i have learned to live while constantly being watched. at first, it made me self-conscious. now, i don't even notice it. and in fact, when i see a farang i've never seen before or go to a big city and see some, i stare just the same.
driving is hilarious. first of all, of course it's on the other side of the road. i thought i'd never get used to it, but now i'm afraid to drive when i come home. when i watch a movie set in america, i wonder why they drive on the right side (and then remember i'll have to relearn that). second, there are no rules except one: do what you gotta do. i've had little to no road rage here on the motorbike because that bad boy can weave nicely in and out of traffic. i've never stopped at a stop sign. stop lights are mostly just a suggestion. the only must is wearing a helmet, but that's only when the sun is out. after dark, the police go home and the stop lights go off, and it's a free for all--don't worry, mothers. we wear our helmets anyway.
it's not rude for people to talk while another person is speaking. this drives me insane!
my youngest prathom students (age 5-6) have a routine of putting baby powder on their face every day after lunch to prevent heat rash. i then have 55 ghost-looking babies, and it's about the cutest looking thing you've ever seen.
air conditioning and hot water are luxuries.
squatty-potties. thailand's gift to the bathroom world and also the most miserable form of a toilet ever created. i didn't understand them, i don't understand them, and i never will understand squatty potties.
the bathrooms here are created to where the shower head is over the toilet (very small and compact like--think of a camper maybe?) and the entire bathroom floor is one big shower with a drain.
There are so many more details that I've forgotten (but am sure to remember as soon as I post this), but you get the point. Some of these may sound like complaints, but I promise I love this country all the more for each one. The most important one of all is that even though the shoes in which I've been walking in are so very different, they're beautiful just the same. Before I left, a person ignorantly cautioned me that I would hate it because it wasn't going to just be "an easy life full of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup" (among a few other rude comments conveying his heavy disapproval). I didn't come here to live an easy life. I didn't come here hoping it would be anything like America. I came here to explore another culture, and ended up falling in love with it. Although I can't say I won't be found sipping queso dip from a straw when I get home (Thailand's not much for cheese), it was the smallest, no actually, it wasn't even a price to pay for the life I've gotten to live here. I certainly hope you, my Fabulous Five, never let the absence of a grilled cheese sandwich and an excess of ignorance stop you from doing something that brings you as much joy, happiness, and love that Thailand has brought me.
it's perfectly normal to see 4 people on one motorbike.
it's also perfectly normal for 2 of those people to be under the age of 4 months old.
it's also perfectly normal for the driver to be under 13 years old.
it's also perfectly normal for dogs to be balancing on the motorbike as well.
look, just go ahead and picture a circus act on two wheels. that's perfectly normal.
health codes? what are those? if you come to this country expecting cleanliness and health ratings posted on the walls of each establishment (if you're posh enough to be eating in a restaurant with walls), you won't eat.
dogs are everywhere. some are nice, some will attack you, all are dirty. (i have the scars to prove the aggressive ones)
it's impolite to cross your legs (and as i type this, i'm reminded to uncross my legs--still haven't been able to commit that rule to memory).
i never know what's going on. there's never a point in the day that i'm absolutely sure that what i'm doing is what i'm supposed to be doing, or where i am is where i'm supposed to be, or if i'm being "rip roi"--polite.
however, this doesn't seem to be an issue because i don't think i'm the only one. people live a go-with-the-flow lifestyle here. "mai pen rai" was the first phrase i learned, and it means "no worries." that sums it all up completely.
nothing is private. people come knock on our door all the time with no warning. one morning, a teacher friend needed her daughter's medical school research paper proofread. this was at 7am. in another instance, we were taking an afternoon snooze when our friend knocked on our door. "were you sleeping?" he asked. "well, yes," we answered. "well, wake up! we're going to find some fun," he replied. (i'm glad we woke up. it was a beautiful day)
shoes are expected to be taken off before entry to any and all shops. feet are considered to be the lowliest body part.
i've never fully witnessed respect until seeing the way Thai people respect their King. these people love their King and their country. every day, the national anthem is played at 8am and 6pm. during those times, people stand up and have a moment of silence. the King's song is played before each movie shown in theaters. i've only been to a couple of movies, and i've cried both times because it's that touching.
at markets, or really anywhere, there are boiling vats of oil (they deep fry EVERYTHING here) barely balanced on an open flame or gas tank. every time i pass them, my anxiety skyrockets, as i'm sure i'll bump one and have it burn straight through to my bones.
they're not too keen on public displays of affection between couples. no hand holding, and definitely no kissing. however, between friends or family, it's always shown. i've never crossed the street with a Thai without my hand being held.
people decorate like crazy. for what? the hundreds of festivals always going on to celebrate one thing or another. they do it up big (and then take it down surprisingly fast, i assume to start decorating for the next celebration). however, once you've seen one, you've seen them all. the same vendors attend each festival and sell the same things they always do...but the people never tire of it!
"delicious" snack food here (according to Thais) consists of sheets of dried fish, dried seaweed, milk flavored tablet candy, dried (or sometimes not) fermented thin sheets of rice paste (tastes much like shower curtain--not that i've ever snacked on one before), any thing in jelly form, foreign objects wrapped in banana leaves, shredded pork (think of cotton candy consistency, though), octopus on a stick, and a wide variety of bugs ranging in size, taste, and crunchiness. i'm not ashamed to say i've tried everything i've just mentioned (most of it for the first and last time). hey, YOL(in Thailand)O, right?!
also, as mentioned before, they love a good deep fried dish. let's take fish, for instance. while most of us would filet it real nice like, Thais don't waste time. they stick the whole dad gum thing down in the frier. eyeballs, fins, bones, and all. don't like fish? we can do you up a nice chicken. why yes, the beak is included!
they love the slapstick comedy. all of their shows come with sound effects of the "BOIOIOIOING!" "WHOOOOP!" and the sad, but always popular "whah-whah-whah" varieties.
ice cream comes in a piece of bread instead of a cone. you can add a number of toppings, such as sticky rice (my favorite), pumpkin, black beans, corn, or different flavors of jelled things.
beverages are served in little plastic bags.
straws come with everything.
students have class ALL day. after school, they have extra lessons. on the weekends, they have extra lessons. they are always always always in school. in addition, everyone wears uniforms. even the college students.
dogs wander into classrooms. mai pen rai.
all buildings are open air. this is because of rainy season when it rains at least once a day.
hot dogs are sold everywhere. all kinds, all shapes, all sizes. off the side of a motorbike, off the side of a bicycle, in shops, or anywhere else you can manage to sell them.
if you can read Thai, then you will be golden. if not, you will rely on pictures. when shopping for doctors (there's a whole street full of doctors offices--picture an open garage with a doctor in it), we go by pictures or customers. after passing by an office full of children, expectant mothers, and one with toothpaste, we finally found our general practitioner.
no issue is taboo. i hear "what the f$*#" from my elementary school kids (although they have no idea what they're saying), i get "shot" by little boys playing with their invisible guns, and students of all ages tell me i don't have a boyfriend because i'm fat.
your personal information is not your personal information. it is everyone's information. how much you have in your bank account, how much you spent on your motorbike, how much your raise was (if only people had a reason to ask me this!), how much you weigh, where you're going, how old you are, or any other personal question (i imagine they'd be much more in depth to me if people spoke more English) never divulged in America.
if you know basic greetings in English, i imagine you could be offered a job anywhere in the more rural areas of the country.
being an air hostess (flight attendant) is the most glamorous job in the world.
people here eat all the livelong day. they have meals, but they have snacks that come before meals, and meals that come after regular meals and snacks that come after that. and then they have dessert and coffee drinks. how they all weigh less than 100 pounds is beyond me. in fact, a greeting equivalent to "how are you?" is "have you eaten?" i get asked this most.
they dance all on, around, and betwixt the gender lines leaving us unsure of how to address most anyone.
karaoke is HUGE. and you don't have to be good at it. there are actually karaoke buses that thump their way down the road if you're up for a more entertaining 8 hour ride to Bangkok.
you can't buy moisturizer here without a "whitening" agent in it. as much as Americans long to be tan and sun kissed, Thais long to be pale. they go to any lengths to prevent the sun from touching their skin. a fellow teacher and i ran an errand, and before we hopped on her motorbike, she put on a sweater, jacket, and gloves before topping the ensemble off with her helmet. all in 95 degree weather, mind you. i asked her if she was cold, and she replied "i don't want the sun to hurt me!"
people take naps anywhere, anytime.
it's ok not to match. at all.
picture taking is a constant. everywhere we go, everywhere we do, it's documented in pictures. never in my life have i posed with so many people for so many different combinations of pictures. the worst is at yoga classes--i'm far from my loveliest in the most unflattering positions imaginable, and there next to me is someone playing photographer. i'm delighted to smile for the camera 99% of the time. yoga is not included in that percentage.
as mentioned before, people are always eating. but they are also always offering. this shows a fraction of their loving spirits. if they're eating and i'm not, they invite me to sit down and share their meal whether they know me or not. it's so beautiful to me.
people are always staring at me. i have learned to live while constantly being watched. at first, it made me self-conscious. now, i don't even notice it. and in fact, when i see a farang i've never seen before or go to a big city and see some, i stare just the same.
driving is hilarious. first of all, of course it's on the other side of the road. i thought i'd never get used to it, but now i'm afraid to drive when i come home. when i watch a movie set in america, i wonder why they drive on the right side (and then remember i'll have to relearn that). second, there are no rules except one: do what you gotta do. i've had little to no road rage here on the motorbike because that bad boy can weave nicely in and out of traffic. i've never stopped at a stop sign. stop lights are mostly just a suggestion. the only must is wearing a helmet, but that's only when the sun is out. after dark, the police go home and the stop lights go off, and it's a free for all--don't worry, mothers. we wear our helmets anyway.
it's not rude for people to talk while another person is speaking. this drives me insane!
my youngest prathom students (age 5-6) have a routine of putting baby powder on their face every day after lunch to prevent heat rash. i then have 55 ghost-looking babies, and it's about the cutest looking thing you've ever seen.
air conditioning and hot water are luxuries.
squatty-potties. thailand's gift to the bathroom world and also the most miserable form of a toilet ever created. i didn't understand them, i don't understand them, and i never will understand squatty potties.
the bathrooms here are created to where the shower head is over the toilet (very small and compact like--think of a camper maybe?) and the entire bathroom floor is one big shower with a drain.
There are so many more details that I've forgotten (but am sure to remember as soon as I post this), but you get the point. Some of these may sound like complaints, but I promise I love this country all the more for each one. The most important one of all is that even though the shoes in which I've been walking in are so very different, they're beautiful just the same. Before I left, a person ignorantly cautioned me that I would hate it because it wasn't going to just be "an easy life full of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup" (among a few other rude comments conveying his heavy disapproval). I didn't come here to live an easy life. I didn't come here hoping it would be anything like America. I came here to explore another culture, and ended up falling in love with it. Although I can't say I won't be found sipping queso dip from a straw when I get home (Thailand's not much for cheese), it was the smallest, no actually, it wasn't even a price to pay for the life I've gotten to live here. I certainly hope you, my Fabulous Five, never let the absence of a grilled cheese sandwich and an excess of ignorance stop you from doing something that brings you as much joy, happiness, and love that Thailand has brought me.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
sawatdee be mai
SAWATDEE BE MAI! (Happy New Year!) The year 2012 really set the bar high for the rest of my years to come. I've never had a year that I was happy to see go, but I've always welcomed the next and willed it to be better. 2013 has a lot of work to do.
Here's what's been happening in my neck of the jungle...
When the holidays rolled around here in Thailand, I knew challenges would arise. I've done the whole solo Thanksgiving before, and having so much to be thankful for almost completely stifled the longing to be home with my family (not that I didn't think about you guys all day!). I was hoping to get at least Christmas day off, but when I made my request, I was denied with a simple shrug, wince, and an "Ummmmm...I don't think so." At first, I was upset. Not so much that I couldn't have Christmas off (I had already prepared myself for this before I came to Buddhist country), but that my religious holiday couldn't be acknowledged even a little when we've had at least 8 Buddhist holidays so far this school year. You guys can't slide me one little teensy itsy bitsy day? No? Nothing?
I found out later the reason I wasn't able to be granted a holiday: Several prathom (elementary) students and teachers were traveling to Chiang Mai for sports competitions. It just so happened that every teacher from my office was going except me. That's cool. I didn't want to go to Chiang Mai anyway. Oh, and also I was expected to teach all of the English classes for the 3 days they were gone. Why sure, I'd love to have the workload of 5 teachers combined on the week of Christmas!
I arrived to school on Christmas Eve morning, having dragged my feet the whole way there. I was in no mood to be dealing with children by myself (don't get me wrong, I love these children whole-heartedly. But when you have 55 students-yes, that many in every single classroom-from ages 5 to 11 yelling questions in a seemingly impossible language and treating you like a human jungle gym, it takes a bit to psych yourself up to face the day). For some reason, it was eerily quiet as I turned the corner into the main assembly area. By that time, I would already have been ambushed by the masses and screams of "TEACHA COW-SEE!" But alas, all was quiet. As I continued on to sign in, I saw my mathayom (high school) students playing soccer in the courtyard, but not a single prathom student was in sight. A few minutes later I was informed that the prathom grades had no school for the next 3 days, and all I was responsible for were the mathayoms. This is a perfect example of Thai life for a foreign teacher. I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. Ever. Sometimes this works out in my favor, sometimes it doesn't. Thankfully this time was the former!
I still had to work on Christmas Eve and Day, but I got to spend some quality time with my older students who sometimes get the shaft because I'm busy giving piggy-back rides 4 students at a time. My Crow Mother sent me a box full of Christmas things for the kids, and since I teach over 1,500 students, there wouldn't have been enough candy canes for everyone. BUT there were enough for every single one of the mathayom students, and I was so loved that day.
My gratefulness for Skype will be never-ending. I was able to talk with my family on their Christmas Eve and Day, and it almost almost felt like I was there. Meredith's sweet grandmother sent us a box full of wrapped gifts and a little tree back in November, and we were able to open the gifts while listening to Christmas carols and watching the fire crackle (compliments of the really neat DVD that Crow Mom sent which simulates a cozy fireplace). Plus, I had just gotten packages from both Big Lynn and my bestie Ashley Bass, both of which contents were so perfectly "me" you'd think I'd hand selected each item myself. I'm not ashamed to say I jumped up and down like a child. That afternoon, we joined our other farang friends for a very festive celebration. On Christmas night, our favorite Thai, Off, took us out to eat and around town. We stumbled upon a Christmas tree of lights, and everyone was gathered around taking pictures. We parked and began to do the same, and since I was in my super festive "Santy" (as my teachers call it) outfit, we stayed for the next hour having my photo taken with what seemed like every little boy and girl in town. I was elated.
Thankfully, we were rewarded with two days off for New Year's Eve and Day. We caught the next bus to Chiang Mai, our go-to town for long weekends. We frequented The Olive Tree, the tastiest Greek restaurant in Thailand (because I crave variety the most living here), Starbucks, and I even got an egg and cheese bagel for breakfast one morning. CHEESE! It's always the little things.
I hope that you all made peace with 2012, and were able to welcome 2013 with open arms. Today I'll be teaching my students about new year's resolutions, however I don't plan on making any of my own. For now, I'm just focused on soaking up every possible thing Thailand has to offer me because guess what? I'll be home soon! Only a few short months to go. I can't wait to see you lovelies!
Here's what's been happening in my neck of the jungle...
English teachers in our "Santies" the Friday before Christmas during our morning assembly
elf and reindeer
all my happy kiddos
When the holidays rolled around here in Thailand, I knew challenges would arise. I've done the whole solo Thanksgiving before, and having so much to be thankful for almost completely stifled the longing to be home with my family (not that I didn't think about you guys all day!). I was hoping to get at least Christmas day off, but when I made my request, I was denied with a simple shrug, wince, and an "Ummmmm...I don't think so." At first, I was upset. Not so much that I couldn't have Christmas off (I had already prepared myself for this before I came to Buddhist country), but that my religious holiday couldn't be acknowledged even a little when we've had at least 8 Buddhist holidays so far this school year. You guys can't slide me one little teensy itsy bitsy day? No? Nothing?
I found out later the reason I wasn't able to be granted a holiday: Several prathom (elementary) students and teachers were traveling to Chiang Mai for sports competitions. It just so happened that every teacher from my office was going except me. That's cool. I didn't want to go to Chiang Mai anyway. Oh, and also I was expected to teach all of the English classes for the 3 days they were gone. Why sure, I'd love to have the workload of 5 teachers combined on the week of Christmas!
I arrived to school on Christmas Eve morning, having dragged my feet the whole way there. I was in no mood to be dealing with children by myself (don't get me wrong, I love these children whole-heartedly. But when you have 55 students-yes, that many in every single classroom-from ages 5 to 11 yelling questions in a seemingly impossible language and treating you like a human jungle gym, it takes a bit to psych yourself up to face the day). For some reason, it was eerily quiet as I turned the corner into the main assembly area. By that time, I would already have been ambushed by the masses and screams of "TEACHA COW-SEE!" But alas, all was quiet. As I continued on to sign in, I saw my mathayom (high school) students playing soccer in the courtyard, but not a single prathom student was in sight. A few minutes later I was informed that the prathom grades had no school for the next 3 days, and all I was responsible for were the mathayoms. This is a perfect example of Thai life for a foreign teacher. I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. Ever. Sometimes this works out in my favor, sometimes it doesn't. Thankfully this time was the former!
I still had to work on Christmas Eve and Day, but I got to spend some quality time with my older students who sometimes get the shaft because I'm busy giving piggy-back rides 4 students at a time. My Crow Mother sent me a box full of Christmas things for the kids, and since I teach over 1,500 students, there wouldn't have been enough candy canes for everyone. BUT there were enough for every single one of the mathayom students, and I was so loved that day.
My gratefulness for Skype will be never-ending. I was able to talk with my family on their Christmas Eve and Day, and it almost almost felt like I was there. Meredith's sweet grandmother sent us a box full of wrapped gifts and a little tree back in November, and we were able to open the gifts while listening to Christmas carols and watching the fire crackle (compliments of the really neat DVD that Crow Mom sent which simulates a cozy fireplace). Plus, I had just gotten packages from both Big Lynn and my bestie Ashley Bass, both of which contents were so perfectly "me" you'd think I'd hand selected each item myself. I'm not ashamed to say I jumped up and down like a child. That afternoon, we joined our other farang friends for a very festive celebration. On Christmas night, our favorite Thai, Off, took us out to eat and around town. We stumbled upon a Christmas tree of lights, and everyone was gathered around taking pictures. We parked and began to do the same, and since I was in my super festive "Santy" (as my teachers call it) outfit, we stayed for the next hour having my photo taken with what seemed like every little boy and girl in town. I was elated.
visiting our friends in the local shops
can you believe this little angel? his name is Archie!
Thankfully, we were rewarded with two days off for New Year's Eve and Day. We caught the next bus to Chiang Mai, our go-to town for long weekends. We frequented The Olive Tree, the tastiest Greek restaurant in Thailand (because I crave variety the most living here), Starbucks, and I even got an egg and cheese bagel for breakfast one morning. CHEESE! It's always the little things.
a coffee shop we found near home
As for our New Year's Eve celebration, there's nowhere I'd rather have been. We met up with some of our Thai friends and proceeded to dance the night away. It was wonderful to be around a few people we love and tons we'd never met but love anyway. My favorite moments were counting down to the new year in Thai, and also watching thousands of lanterns being released in the sky. It's those moments that I stop and smile to myself. We live in a beautiful world!
before we went out dancing under the lantern-lit sky. neither one of us wanted to be responsible for the camera, so this is the only photo taken on nye.
I hope that you all made peace with 2012, and were able to welcome 2013 with open arms. Today I'll be teaching my students about new year's resolutions, however I don't plan on making any of my own. For now, I'm just focused on soaking up every possible thing Thailand has to offer me because guess what? I'll be home soon! Only a few short months to go. I can't wait to see you lovelies!
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